From Delhi to Bangalore

When I was in Delhi, doing my schooling or college I wanted to move out of the town because I wanted to avoid the traffic and commuting that used to have a toll on me everyday plus I also was curious to know what it is to enjoy an independent life, a life of your own where everything has to be managed by you. No mother or elderly will be around you, from toothbrush to falling sick, its all on you. So I arrived at IIT Kharagpur. It was as I had expected, independent, full of life and very active. I don't regret doing 2 masters, I will never, in fact, because what I experienced being there at Kharagpur, I could have never if I was not there.Yes, I can say proudly, those were the best days of my life.

Now I am in Bangalore enrolled, in a very beautiful location where climate is such, which every Delhite would envy at. Its been one year here and I invited my parents to visit me for a week long period. I booked the tickets on my own but I was never sure until the date finally arrived that they would come. My Sister and Brother-in-law arrived 2 days earlier than my mother and father. I managed to host well and made sure they have everything. At the same time I had fun going out with them and of course gossiping in the same bed with my sister about the'Aunties-in-the-colony'. Off lately, I have become a big bunch of gossip-er (If its even a word), I loveeee gossiping. It acts as a stress buster and makes you closer to your girl friends. Anyways, After 2 days  rest of my family came and I was so happy to see my mom, because she rarely goes out for such trips. She is generally, always have one work or other as a target to finish after which she promises to go out....and that time never comes because some other work pops in between. So this time I was happy also for this reason that at least my mom came and she will have a break from her homely chores and all the tension of the life. Everything was going smooth, we managed to go to Banerghetta National Park, Isckon Temple, Malleshwaram and Kundanhalli   to see my best friend from kgp and remaining time I spent being cosy and kiddish in my mother's lap. I also made them meet my freinds in Hostel and they were so happy to meet them. My friends also invited them for a Hostel-made dinner and performed Dandiya which created a cheerful atmosphere. At the end of the trip, they complimented me about how I managed to make it a memorable one and that they had a very nice time. And then I felt, I think I have grown up enough :P

But the point was........After all my experimentation of staying away or staying alone, like a bird which always returns to its nest every evening, I too want to go to my nest which is miles away from me....

Realisation...

Okay, so looking from the other perspective of life, it appears to me as if we all are just living. Whatever we are doing, are doing to just live. I wonder why is so? What’s the need to live on the first place? May be I m sounding depressive but I m not depressed. It’s just that I am thinking about it. Even the great Buddha was perplexed about the meaning behind this earthly life so why not one Buddha may be Buddhu here can ask such question?

What is to live? Why do you live? Who you are? Why are you here? Did you leave any unfinished business before and therefore you are here? If yes, what is it? If no, why don’t you know? Why do you daily get up? Why do you go to bed? Why do you laugh and why do you cry? Do you know yourself?

I know most of you would answer; that would involve meanings like, love, relations, aim, career, ambitions, attachment etc. But it’s all made up. They aren’t natural. Natural are you. Truth is you. Good is you and Bad is you. I am not being selfish here but isn’t it true? Its all about you. We all are trying to live as long as we can, while avoiding as much pain as possible, and experiencing as much pleasure as possible.

To experience life is to be alive. I am sure we all agree that there is certainly no life when or where, it is not experienced. To be, but, in the state of experiencing life is to be conscious. What is consciousness? According to a definition, Consciousness occurs when a spiritual being that is capable of awareness, is aware of something. When something exists, but the spiritual being in not aware of it, then it is not a part of the spiritual beings consciousness. It also says that consciousness grows with awareness, and therefore the greater consciousness is, the greater the experience of life, but for awareness to grow it must be focused to achieve clarity. Only when a spiritual being is fully conscious is it capable of experiencing life to the full.

So, are we experienced? Are we conscious? How many of us really care? We have more “important” things to do than this…

In his first sermon after attaining enlightenment, the Buddha taught the "Four Noble Truths," which form the foundation of belief for all branches of Buddhism:

1. All of life is marked by suffering.
2. Suffering is caused by desire and attachment.
3. Suffering can be stopped.
4. The way to end suffering is to follow the Noble Eightfold Path.

Buddha says,

““You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.””

Without Sun

Its been 4 days there was sun in the sky...I have obviously liked it because coming from delhi, this kind of weather is very less to see. But today suddenly this looks so gloomy to me...The day started late and everything was fine but why I m not happy. This is so not me!

I dont know if I am doing it in the right way.. Infact I don't know whats the right way..But I know I am doing something without any clue of its consequences...Its too early, way too early....I am unable to realise anything...Dont want to make it a farce...just want to keep it simple...But I know it's not gonna be one smooth walk...I m on a cliff it seems....Just one thought for the moment, wanna go to an unknown place amongst unknowns...

Jalebiiii .....!!

I was on my way to take my watch back from the Titan showroom in the evening which stopped running one day and the shopkeeper said he need to change the machine and lot of other things needs to be done in that. Seems there was a major technical fault! Before going to the shop, I thought the maximum it require would be a new cell but I was wrong.

Anyways, so on my way back I saw this chaat corner shop where there was a huge crowd as always. I remember once my friend had told me that it’s a good one and worth a try. I dint want to experiment new things so I stuck with samosa and Jalebi. I ordered him to pack it so that I would enjoy it peacefully in my room. There were two hot samosa's and only 500 gm of jalebi's. I remember how I was running impatient for my order. It was an open jalebi corner in that shop, what held my breath was a large cast-iron wok filled with steaming oil to the brim and the sweet maker or 'halwai' deftly swirling and twirling patterns with the 'jalebi' batter into the hot oil and finally dipping it into the sweet-sugary liquid. The view was mouth waterinnnnngggggg....!!!!!

I couldn't resist opening the pack till my room therefore I just opened it midway. As I held the jalebi in my hand I dint know I was on my way to heaven.. Imagine: sweet and crunchy ring of sunshiny jalebi in your hand-what more can you ask from life!!!! I gently put the hot crisp and sweet-liquid filled jalebi in my mouth and my eyes were automatically closed and I opened them only when I realized I m to cross a road when this car was honking at me...I just found my way and started walking down but my pace got slowed because I wanted to give all my attention to that piece of only luxury at that point of time with me.

I enjoyed it after a long time and I distributed the rest to my friends back at hostel and they were so happy too.

The piping-hot,sinfully-sweet,crispy,flavor-full and mouth-watering Jalebi is enough to make me addicted than any other drug :P

Researching life

I have this stupid "Writing and Communication workshop" tommorow and I am supposed to give a powerpoint presentation in an area quite, nah..absolutely new to me and its half past midnight and in the midst of preparing the slides what I can be caught doing is reading old friends blogs and having a strong urge to write one. So here I go...

This is the age when we (all those of my age) have almost finished our studies and have started our new venture of life. Few like me can still ,I would say Enjoy the student life,by being the Research Scholars riding the same old bycycle,sipping the same chai in a tea-stall and enjoying the simplicity of the complicated life.

I was reading a friends post how he was describing his never-ending love for his dear friends and family and some realities of life. Really,its the time when we are cherishing friendship,cherishing life, the moments spent with our near and dear friends. Life has taken us to completely far-off geographical regions in the company of linguistically and culturally different people, some in abroad and some in different states of their own country. Indeed its those memories, which are keeping us alive,its those people who are making you smile and its those people you are so sure to feel good to talk to. Those are your friends and family.There is one more category of people which we dont talk to because somehow our communication was stopped but we still think about them in our minds only to feel good and at the same time bad about it for now you dont know whether that person is still the same or not?

We think a lot sometimes...There's no machine so far developed by which you can know what goes in other person's mind. Why do we hesitate so much? Why do we think so much? Why dont we say truth sometimes? Why dont we express our thoughts sometimes? Because of which we suffer sometimes..

If you ever need a friend,I will be there.
These were the last words..Are you still my friend?
Can I ever know its answer?

Still..Life goes on :)

So this is how you enjoy?

The title of my post is a very innocent question asked to a newly formed friend of mine.
Pat comes her reply," Yea, Isnt that cool?"

Now I just smiled to it and we changed the topic. I m talking about the social habits in us like "Drinkin and Smokin". Pics of people hanging out with a glass of alcohol and a ciagrette in other hand is so common. Being "social" as they say comes only if they have to do all this? I just wonder if thats really exciting..I find excitement even in a simple tea which is served on a roadside chai ki shop..

I met this guy in train on my way to Bangalore, he works in Infosys, I saw him going out of our chamber every one hour.Every time it took him around 10 minutes to return back and he was always carrying this smell of smoke with him. He tried his best to not let anyone having a hint about his habit by chewing mint or chewing gum but I was smart enough to trace :P and couldn't resist myself and asked him why he smokes this much? ( I know I shouldn't be asking that but coudn't help).

Initially, he was surprised as to how I came to know about it as we hardly talked in the whole journey but afterwards he shared me the reason how he survives working so hard all day in front of the screen and then their only stressbuster is used to be a pack of ciagrettes.

I really felt pity on him and smiled (again) secretly...

I dont really find it offensive to drink or smoke.. but, sometimes its something you can't help but do and otherwise its the only thing you can do.

The choice is yours~

Can engagement pull away friends?

We make a group of four and like any adolescent and fresh college goer excitingly named our group name as MAGN. The first letter of the names gave this group such a name where G for sure was me . It's been seven and half years now that we know each other and we know everything. I remember how we used to be in college and how we all have in Darwin's term-Evoluted for better..mmm..

Amongst us, Amita and Neetika were nerdy kinds, always in books or in the library, Mona and I were li'l chilled out ones but because of them we too started visiting the library sometimes and eventually developed interest for those expensive foreign author books. The ultimate destination nevertheless used to be the canteen where we couldn't stop ourselves sipping tea and enjoy samosa's, momos or bhelpuri. Chatting and laughing, Nicknames to last bench games, Cultural rehearsals to love proposals, professors mimicry to girls fight, Project views to exam screws...we did it all till dawn. Indeed they are my Best friends for life. We have supported each other during some pretty tough times and handled lots of disagreements. After classes/practicals that used to last till 4 or 5 every evening, everyone used to rush to their homes but we used to keep sitting in the college either in the canteen or in the lawns else in the rock gardens chatting endlessly. Obviously we all were singles and 50 % were ready to mingle. Never did it occur to me that it would be Amy first. I always had in my mind that Amy and Neetz would go for arrange marriage given that the personalities they were. I remember how simple we were except for mona who always were a babe and had the best dressing sense and so canny amongst four of us. :) I was a complete tomboy..infact a boy. My mom always treated me like a chota-bacha and therefore my hair was always cut short into a typical boy-cut style. I enjoyed it too since I was away from all the nitty-gritties that gals used to have and had a single free and creative soul plus no one dared to say anything to menot even Harpal Singh!!!

Harpal Singh : He was my classmate from class IV to VIII and this incident happended to me in VII class if my gray cells work properly. I was monitor of the class and there was some inspection in school. Classes were suspended and I had to mind the class so as to have pin-drop silence in order to earn some praise from the class-teacher. I was trying to be at my best but certainly Harpal was not! He was boisterous that day and wasn't ready to be in control. Whenever I passed away from his desk, he started talking with his bench mate. Whole class was silent of my fear but he was the odd one out. I asked him to stay quiet but he ignored. I wrote his name on the black-board and asked him to go out of the class. I dont remember exactly what happened but we indulged into haatha-payi. After some verbal scores he held me with my collar that left me stood aghast. I had to come back stronger as now it was about my pride and position in front of class. I dont know what came into my mind but I held his turban and unfolded it. To which he started crying and became harmless. I know that was cruel of me but I had to go for self defense. He never said anything to me ever may be he got scared!

After graduation, all four of us got separated professionally and got busy with our lives. Still we were bonded from heart and always tried to meet on weekends or other. I knew if anyone was ever going to marry first it wouldn't be me. and its trueee!!! Amy just got engaged last month and Heavens, I cant believe it still!!! The feeling is not sinking but it will :) I can see how life's changing..priorities,preferences,likes,dislikes...

It's a great feeling to see your buddy getting married to the person she loves..yeah it's a love-marriage!!!! Who wouldn't be happy after being the part of entire process of ups and downs and finally coming out with flying colours to finally approve the relation with parents. All's well that ends well.

I googled arrange marriage and here comes the result in wikipedia," Factors considered in arranged marriage match-making in India" Following are some bullet points:

1. Caste


2. Reputation


3. Vocation


4. Wealth


5. Religion


6. Horoscope


7. Diet


8. Height


9. Age


10. Language


11. Miscellenous
    

But "Love" was not in the list anywhere.. Does it not matter to parents at all? What is it then?

Anyways,things are going smoothly and she's all busy in shopping for wedding. Now, all that she talks is either about her fiance or about them. Oftenly, our plans of going out gets cancelled at the eleventh hour because suddenly Mr. Right takes the lead and we are left to just -Understand. Her shopping list got longer and her companion got changed. Now its no girls thing but a boy is rocking the charts. Hmm.. I may be sounding like a jealous or a selfish woman but I am getting used to of such habit as few other female friends of mine getting into the same practice.

Whats my problem? In no way I m a perfect person but what I feel is one has to try to be little considerate and should have/give her/his own space. All of us have got just 24 hours a day. But

Its a matter of prioritizing our life to the things that are really important.

Isn't she doing the same? She is acting correctly on her priority list and being a true friend I should be in all peace to that.

It leaves me wondering: Does life takes a head spinlike this? It's amazing to see how one suddenly change their preferences and move towards the only soul left..Am I being too sarcastic? I m just wondering if I m overthinking things.

After all the thinking process I came to a conclusion: Friends must realise that their relationship with their engaged /married friend has to change too. Their engaged friend is going through a lot of changes and should spend the good part of their time with their partners and be given the time to bond together in pre and post marriage scenario,even if it is a love marriage. Every wife wishes to feel special and wants her husband's attention and not feel ignored in front of his friends and similarly each husband wants his wife to shower him with the attention that only a wife can and make him feel all important and the most important part of her life rather than just going out with her friends..

So I guess, If I happen to have this much of understanding I must be called a good friend :D and yeah,

~ Congratulations
Much excited for the Wedding!!

P.S : As I complete writing this post I get the invitation for a night stay at her home.I knew it!! Yay!!