Another Start

Life's so good. We realize this only after going through a rough patch. Hard times or sad times teach you a lot. They make you stronger and fills you with so many experiences that adds personality in you. What I used to be, what I am and What I will be, I am really excited to see my avatars in this invariably changing life episodes. I remember I have always cribbed about being immature and careless,but today I feel I have become much responsible to the level that even my family acknowledges this fact. I am happy about it. Still I may be quite amateurish with certain things, I still would goof up things and make silly mistakes but then we can ignore that. That is my part of being myself and I guess I would never want to change it for that would lead to a different me, which I don't want to become. I am quite happy with how I am and I want to become a better person gradually.

The big fat Indian Wedding

Seventy grands for a lehnga?? I heard that figure and my jaw dropped. You may call me a hoarder but I seriously believe marriage now-a-days have become a way to waste money on unnecessary things. It’s how people show to others how much they have and can spend. I know people say it's the most important day, you'll remember it forever but for me, I don't really remember things from the past that much or with details. I'd  rather take that money and use it as a house down payment or emergency fund or pay odd all student loan/cc/auto debt. 

I’m thinking about why people so clearly prefer big weddings, even with the price tag. For a lot of people, I think it’s a matter of priorities: they’ve thought things through and the idea of a big wedding and all that goes with it (fun times with family, a great party and so on) is worth it. But, the experience of the perfect wedding is worth more than the alternatives of where they can spend that money.Hardly, anyone thinks about that. It has become a kind of social pressure these days.

Every one of us have if not more, but at least one Mrs. Sharma in our neighborhood, who we have a comparison with on a day to day basis of…umm…anything! Sofas, curtains, imported cutlery, cars, property, ‘that’ latest brand of Air conditioner blah blah blah. The funny part is when we lack having one ‘that’ thing because then it becomes an awwww subject, which forces our poor mom to complain about  this politely yet compulsorily to our poor dad who becomes a mere victim of such economically waste game of “I-have-more-money, honey”. Pheww!!

This is one such story of my home when some years back, one aunty in my neighborhood came just like any other day and started talking about whole colony and then finally coming to that point…the moment when she tells what’s that new thing in their home and of course how much it costs. Well, my mom did not really appreciated washing clothes in washing machine those days, so therefore there was not much need of it at home. But how could Mrs. Sharma not notice that? So, obviously she said in a swankier way how she owns a IFB which is an in-thing and we don’t have even a Videocon. As usual, my dad had to become the victim of such ostentation and he brought home a brand new WM which even after years is lying unused and filling lot of space in the balcony! Guess it’s some kind of pressure that these ladies bear. (Obviously I tried to make understand ladies back home that you shouldn’t really be bothered about such things, but of no use).

So, yes...Marriage! It starts with expensive costumes…that costs huuuugeeeee which is literally of no use save that wedding night…to jewellery-to make-up (now-a-days, as we all go branded so L’Oreal or Lakme experts have taken that job robbing our local beauty parlor aunties) to Dj, orchestra…Not forgetting the big farm house wedding which are based on themes having proper rehearsals for different ceremonies, dishes of different regions, outfits, etc. There’s also a new trend of Palace weddings where old royal places are now used as hotels and resorts where filmstars performs, food is in abundance, high profile people were invited, preparations began before months, dances choreographed, costumes precisely made etc. Lot of food just goes in drain in a country where an average poor still lives in 17 rupees per day, electricity is overused, jamming traffic on the roads without caring for a common man how he might feel who is returning after a day’s hectic work that this wedding means nothing in his life.

And what happens...you wear them, you look good, you sit in the chair pretending to look decent, you become the star of night, you have to behave cultured and worse! You have to eat in the end..!! :(  Gross...It’s my wedding, I want to welcome the baraat, I want to do the Naagin-dance for Dulha..I want to get drunk may be…but all I have to do is sit quiet, allow the paparazzi to see you become a model and be all shy! I see people spending a lot of money they don't have on their wedding day, then spend years fighting over money trying to pay back the money they borrowed as well as other bills. It doesn't seem worth it to me. 

If it was on me and I could have my orders followed, I would not indulge in such grand affair but keep it simple and sober yet interesting in my own very special ways! Whoa... sorry for this... I kind of sound bi-polar about this wedding thing, but it just seem like SO much money!

P.S : I certainly have no plans of marriage or anything of that sort in near future but updates and pictures of people getting married on FB makes me feel this way. 

From Delhi to Bangalore

When I was in Delhi, doing my schooling or college I wanted to move out of the town because I wanted to avoid the traffic and commuting that used to have a toll on me everyday plus I also was curious to know what it is to enjoy an independent life, a life of your own where everything has to be managed by you. No mother or elderly will be around you, from toothbrush to falling sick, its all on you. So I arrived at IIT Kharagpur. It was as I had expected, independent, full of life and very active. I don't regret doing 2 masters, I will never, in fact, because what I experienced being there at Kharagpur, I could have never if I was not there.Yes, I can say proudly, those were the best days of my life.

Now I am in Bangalore enrolled, in a very beautiful location where climate is such, which every Delhite would envy at. Its been one year here and I invited my parents to visit me for a week long period. I booked the tickets on my own but I was never sure until the date finally arrived that they would come. My Sister and Brother-in-law arrived 2 days earlier than my mother and father. I managed to host well and made sure they have everything. At the same time I had fun going out with them and of course gossiping in the same bed with my sister about the'Aunties-in-the-colony'. Off lately, I have become a big bunch of gossip-er (If its even a word), I loveeee gossiping. It acts as a stress buster and makes you closer to your girl friends. Anyways, After 2 days  rest of my family came and I was so happy to see my mom, because she rarely goes out for such trips. She is generally, always have one work or other as a target to finish after which she promises to go out....and that time never comes because some other work pops in between. So this time I was happy also for this reason that at least my mom came and she will have a break from her homely chores and all the tension of the life. Everything was going smooth, we managed to go to Banerghetta National Park, Isckon Temple, Malleshwaram and Kundanhalli   to see my best friend from kgp and remaining time I spent being cosy and kiddish in my mother's lap. I also made them meet my freinds in Hostel and they were so happy to meet them. My friends also invited them for a Hostel-made dinner and performed Dandiya which created a cheerful atmosphere. At the end of the trip, they complimented me about how I managed to make it a memorable one and that they had a very nice time. And then I felt, I think I have grown up enough :P

But the point was........After all my experimentation of staying away or staying alone, like a bird which always returns to its nest every evening, I too want to go to my nest which is miles away from me....

Realisation...

Okay, so looking from the other perspective of life, it appears to me as if we all are just living. Whatever we are doing, are doing to just live. I wonder why is so? What’s the need to live on the first place? May be I m sounding depressive but I m not depressed. It’s just that I am thinking about it. Even the great Buddha was perplexed about the meaning behind this earthly life so why not one Buddha may be Buddhu here can ask such question?

What is to live? Why do you live? Who you are? Why are you here? Did you leave any unfinished business before and therefore you are here? If yes, what is it? If no, why don’t you know? Why do you daily get up? Why do you go to bed? Why do you laugh and why do you cry? Do you know yourself?

I know most of you would answer; that would involve meanings like, love, relations, aim, career, ambitions, attachment etc. But it’s all made up. They aren’t natural. Natural are you. Truth is you. Good is you and Bad is you. I am not being selfish here but isn’t it true? Its all about you. We all are trying to live as long as we can, while avoiding as much pain as possible, and experiencing as much pleasure as possible.

To experience life is to be alive. I am sure we all agree that there is certainly no life when or where, it is not experienced. To be, but, in the state of experiencing life is to be conscious. What is consciousness? According to a definition, Consciousness occurs when a spiritual being that is capable of awareness, is aware of something. When something exists, but the spiritual being in not aware of it, then it is not a part of the spiritual beings consciousness. It also says that consciousness grows with awareness, and therefore the greater consciousness is, the greater the experience of life, but for awareness to grow it must be focused to achieve clarity. Only when a spiritual being is fully conscious is it capable of experiencing life to the full.

So, are we experienced? Are we conscious? How many of us really care? We have more “important” things to do than this…

In his first sermon after attaining enlightenment, the Buddha taught the "Four Noble Truths," which form the foundation of belief for all branches of Buddhism:

1. All of life is marked by suffering.
2. Suffering is caused by desire and attachment.
3. Suffering can be stopped.
4. The way to end suffering is to follow the Noble Eightfold Path.

Buddha says,

““You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.””

Without Sun

Its been 4 days there was sun in the sky...I have obviously liked it because coming from delhi, this kind of weather is very less to see. But today suddenly this looks so gloomy to me...The day started late and everything was fine but why I m not happy. This is so not me!

I dont know if I am doing it in the right way.. Infact I don't know whats the right way..But I know I am doing something without any clue of its consequences...Its too early, way too early....I am unable to realise anything...Dont want to make it a farce...just want to keep it simple...But I know it's not gonna be one smooth walk...I m on a cliff it seems....Just one thought for the moment, wanna go to an unknown place amongst unknowns...

Jalebiiii .....!!

I was on my way to take my watch back from the Titan showroom in the evening which stopped running one day and the shopkeeper said he need to change the machine and lot of other things needs to be done in that. Seems there was a major technical fault! Before going to the shop, I thought the maximum it require would be a new cell but I was wrong.

Anyways, so on my way back I saw this chaat corner shop where there was a huge crowd as always. I remember once my friend had told me that it’s a good one and worth a try. I dint want to experiment new things so I stuck with samosa and Jalebi. I ordered him to pack it so that I would enjoy it peacefully in my room. There were two hot samosa's and only 500 gm of jalebi's. I remember how I was running impatient for my order. It was an open jalebi corner in that shop, what held my breath was a large cast-iron wok filled with steaming oil to the brim and the sweet maker or 'halwai' deftly swirling and twirling patterns with the 'jalebi' batter into the hot oil and finally dipping it into the sweet-sugary liquid. The view was mouth waterinnnnngggggg....!!!!!

I couldn't resist opening the pack till my room therefore I just opened it midway. As I held the jalebi in my hand I dint know I was on my way to heaven.. Imagine: sweet and crunchy ring of sunshiny jalebi in your hand-what more can you ask from life!!!! I gently put the hot crisp and sweet-liquid filled jalebi in my mouth and my eyes were automatically closed and I opened them only when I realized I m to cross a road when this car was honking at me...I just found my way and started walking down but my pace got slowed because I wanted to give all my attention to that piece of only luxury at that point of time with me.

I enjoyed it after a long time and I distributed the rest to my friends back at hostel and they were so happy too.

The piping-hot,sinfully-sweet,crispy,flavor-full and mouth-watering Jalebi is enough to make me addicted than any other drug :P

Researching life

I have this stupid "Writing and Communication workshop" tommorow and I am supposed to give a powerpoint presentation in an area quite, nah..absolutely new to me and its half past midnight and in the midst of preparing the slides what I can be caught doing is reading old friends blogs and having a strong urge to write one. So here I go...

This is the age when we (all those of my age) have almost finished our studies and have started our new venture of life. Few like me can still ,I would say Enjoy the student life,by being the Research Scholars riding the same old bycycle,sipping the same chai in a tea-stall and enjoying the simplicity of the complicated life.

I was reading a friends post how he was describing his never-ending love for his dear friends and family and some realities of life. Really,its the time when we are cherishing friendship,cherishing life, the moments spent with our near and dear friends. Life has taken us to completely far-off geographical regions in the company of linguistically and culturally different people, some in abroad and some in different states of their own country. Indeed its those memories, which are keeping us alive,its those people who are making you smile and its those people you are so sure to feel good to talk to. Those are your friends and family.There is one more category of people which we dont talk to because somehow our communication was stopped but we still think about them in our minds only to feel good and at the same time bad about it for now you dont know whether that person is still the same or not?

We think a lot sometimes...There's no machine so far developed by which you can know what goes in other person's mind. Why do we hesitate so much? Why do we think so much? Why dont we say truth sometimes? Why dont we express our thoughts sometimes? Because of which we suffer sometimes..

If you ever need a friend,I will be there.
These were the last words..Are you still my friend?
Can I ever know its answer?

Still..Life goes on :)