So this is how you enjoy?

The title of my post is a very innocent question asked to a newly formed friend of mine.
Pat comes her reply," Yea, Isnt that cool?"

Now I just smiled to it and we changed the topic. I m talking about the social habits in us like "Drinkin and Smokin". Pics of people hanging out with a glass of alcohol and a ciagrette in other hand is so common. Being "social" as they say comes only if they have to do all this? I just wonder if thats really exciting..I find excitement even in a simple tea which is served on a roadside chai ki shop..

I met this guy in train on my way to Bangalore, he works in Infosys, I saw him going out of our chamber every one hour.Every time it took him around 10 minutes to return back and he was always carrying this smell of smoke with him. He tried his best to not let anyone having a hint about his habit by chewing mint or chewing gum but I was smart enough to trace :P and couldn't resist myself and asked him why he smokes this much? ( I know I shouldn't be asking that but coudn't help).

Initially, he was surprised as to how I came to know about it as we hardly talked in the whole journey but afterwards he shared me the reason how he survives working so hard all day in front of the screen and then their only stressbuster is used to be a pack of ciagrettes.

I really felt pity on him and smiled (again) secretly...

I dont really find it offensive to drink or smoke.. but, sometimes its something you can't help but do and otherwise its the only thing you can do.

The choice is yours~

Can engagement pull away friends?

We make a group of four and like any adolescent and fresh college goer excitingly named our group name as MAGN. The first letter of the names gave this group such a name where G for sure was me . It's been seven and half years now that we know each other and we know everything. I remember how we used to be in college and how we all have in Darwin's term-Evoluted for better..mmm..

Amongst us, Amita and Neetika were nerdy kinds, always in books or in the library, Mona and I were li'l chilled out ones but because of them we too started visiting the library sometimes and eventually developed interest for those expensive foreign author books. The ultimate destination nevertheless used to be the canteen where we couldn't stop ourselves sipping tea and enjoy samosa's, momos or bhelpuri. Chatting and laughing, Nicknames to last bench games, Cultural rehearsals to love proposals, professors mimicry to girls fight, Project views to exam screws...we did it all till dawn. Indeed they are my Best friends for life. We have supported each other during some pretty tough times and handled lots of disagreements. After classes/practicals that used to last till 4 or 5 every evening, everyone used to rush to their homes but we used to keep sitting in the college either in the canteen or in the lawns else in the rock gardens chatting endlessly. Obviously we all were singles and 50 % were ready to mingle. Never did it occur to me that it would be Amy first. I always had in my mind that Amy and Neetz would go for arrange marriage given that the personalities they were. I remember how simple we were except for mona who always were a babe and had the best dressing sense and so canny amongst four of us. :) I was a complete tomboy..infact a boy. My mom always treated me like a chota-bacha and therefore my hair was always cut short into a typical boy-cut style. I enjoyed it too since I was away from all the nitty-gritties that gals used to have and had a single free and creative soul plus no one dared to say anything to menot even Harpal Singh!!!

Harpal Singh : He was my classmate from class IV to VIII and this incident happended to me in VII class if my gray cells work properly. I was monitor of the class and there was some inspection in school. Classes were suspended and I had to mind the class so as to have pin-drop silence in order to earn some praise from the class-teacher. I was trying to be at my best but certainly Harpal was not! He was boisterous that day and wasn't ready to be in control. Whenever I passed away from his desk, he started talking with his bench mate. Whole class was silent of my fear but he was the odd one out. I asked him to stay quiet but he ignored. I wrote his name on the black-board and asked him to go out of the class. I dont remember exactly what happened but we indulged into haatha-payi. After some verbal scores he held me with my collar that left me stood aghast. I had to come back stronger as now it was about my pride and position in front of class. I dont know what came into my mind but I held his turban and unfolded it. To which he started crying and became harmless. I know that was cruel of me but I had to go for self defense. He never said anything to me ever may be he got scared!

After graduation, all four of us got separated professionally and got busy with our lives. Still we were bonded from heart and always tried to meet on weekends or other. I knew if anyone was ever going to marry first it wouldn't be me. and its trueee!!! Amy just got engaged last month and Heavens, I cant believe it still!!! The feeling is not sinking but it will :) I can see how life's changing..priorities,preferences,likes,dislikes...

It's a great feeling to see your buddy getting married to the person she loves..yeah it's a love-marriage!!!! Who wouldn't be happy after being the part of entire process of ups and downs and finally coming out with flying colours to finally approve the relation with parents. All's well that ends well.

I googled arrange marriage and here comes the result in wikipedia," Factors considered in arranged marriage match-making in India" Following are some bullet points:

1. Caste


2. Reputation


3. Vocation


4. Wealth


5. Religion


6. Horoscope


7. Diet


8. Height


9. Age


10. Language


11. Miscellenous
    

But "Love" was not in the list anywhere.. Does it not matter to parents at all? What is it then?

Anyways,things are going smoothly and she's all busy in shopping for wedding. Now, all that she talks is either about her fiance or about them. Oftenly, our plans of going out gets cancelled at the eleventh hour because suddenly Mr. Right takes the lead and we are left to just -Understand. Her shopping list got longer and her companion got changed. Now its no girls thing but a boy is rocking the charts. Hmm.. I may be sounding like a jealous or a selfish woman but I am getting used to of such habit as few other female friends of mine getting into the same practice.

Whats my problem? In no way I m a perfect person but what I feel is one has to try to be little considerate and should have/give her/his own space. All of us have got just 24 hours a day. But

Its a matter of prioritizing our life to the things that are really important.

Isn't she doing the same? She is acting correctly on her priority list and being a true friend I should be in all peace to that.

It leaves me wondering: Does life takes a head spinlike this? It's amazing to see how one suddenly change their preferences and move towards the only soul left..Am I being too sarcastic? I m just wondering if I m overthinking things.

After all the thinking process I came to a conclusion: Friends must realise that their relationship with their engaged /married friend has to change too. Their engaged friend is going through a lot of changes and should spend the good part of their time with their partners and be given the time to bond together in pre and post marriage scenario,even if it is a love marriage. Every wife wishes to feel special and wants her husband's attention and not feel ignored in front of his friends and similarly each husband wants his wife to shower him with the attention that only a wife can and make him feel all important and the most important part of her life rather than just going out with her friends..

So I guess, If I happen to have this much of understanding I must be called a good friend :D and yeah,

~ Congratulations
Much excited for the Wedding!!

P.S : As I complete writing this post I get the invitation for a night stay at her home.I knew it!! Yay!!

Not Today-but tomorrow

It was 11 pm and usual after the dinner scene when my mom was upto keeping things back into place and stuff. I was watching t.v apparently with my brother actually none of us were watching it seriously as he was busy texting and I was ear-plugged to my favourite tracks and I appeared a moron that time to my mother. I guess it was the show Aap ki Adalat on India TV where Digvijay Singh was the guest of honour and was replying to Rajat Sharma's questions in the talk show. I hardly paid much heed as I was in some other world.

I was tapping feets and enjoying the music and suddenly had the urge to go outside and walk on the streets or may be go for a long long drive only to stop at the road side tea stalls for my favourite drink chai or coffee probably and enjoy the rain that is blessing us these days all over the country or dance continuoulsy for quite some time or worse... singing loud enough to let everyone know about it...I think these are the after-effects of having been lived in kharagpur that you become energised only in late-hours. Its 12 and I feel now the time starts but everyone around me is off to bed..uhmm..!

I just saw my mom irritated on some thing, must be a very simple common thing and sharing it with papa, bhai busy with the texting..I notice him using phone more than required frequency now-a-days, guess he's a girlfriend..Well talking on same line, I would like to show my disgust for those who go mobile-crazy and always busy with phone when they have people (as in girl friend/boy-friend whatever the case may be) in their life..Anyways...

I m still enjoying my music unaffected of things at home. Back at kgp I went dull during my last few months there but now again I m full of lists..I wanna learn dance..I wanna go for long long drives..I wanna explore places..I wanna ride a bike or at least sit on a bike :P..wanna work really well and earn good amount..hmm...!

I have my own set of things to do..a different sphere of understanding and not many would understand though..including guys at my home. They think I am from Venus, I guess I am....

I wanna stay myself! Just myself.

~Full of Life~

Nothing is better than something

The difference that comes.. makes things take for granted..
The things that were, the time that was...for all transformed into a memory of past..
Still it exist..atleast somewhere definitly..
Hope it emerges one day...

Shan-e-Ghalib

Aa gayii yaad sham dhalte hii
bujh gayaa dil chiraagh jalte hii

khul gaye shahr-e-Gham ke darvaaze
ek zaraa sii havaa ke chalte hii...


kaun thaa tuu ke phir na dekhaa tujhe
mit gayaa Khvaab aankh malte hii

tuu bhii jaise badal saa jaataa hai
aks-e-diivaar ke badalte hii

Idiot

Yes,I am one big idiot. Messing up with everything. Professional and personal,both the lives. Seems its the height,till when I will be sheltering behind saying I m not mature.

Ki holo? Kemon achis? B-E-N-G-A-L!

My stay is going to get over very soon here and I would sum it up in one line as "Unusual but refreshing". I travelled to many states in India because of the transferable job of my father, I have experienced the aura of many places but this time it was different and worth explaining. As correctly pointed by Poulomi my friend from Delhi and in Bengal too in the last post, there are really some exclusive and intriguing facts about this place,on the other hand some things are li'l depressing.

Here, I would like to list some common practices prevalent in my hostel-workplace-kharagpur-West Bengal-Bengal!

1. People are Lazy!
2. Marketing skills are poor, they dont like to work hard (Hard? big word!!)
3. Bargaining is a strictly prohibited act!
4. Vegetarian, please turn Non-veg else Die!!
5. Eating habits are pathetic!
6. Working hours are very short.
7. Gain weight upto 5kgs in 5 days.
8. Bengali is the international language.

Lazy people- Now why I say this,well, it seems people here do not like to work, they rather like spending their time talking or eating rasogullas or just doing nothing. For instance, I once went to a bank for some work, the person in-charge was moving his pen so slowly that even ants could crawl faster..They walk slowly,They eat slowly,They work slowly...

Bargaining-an unpunishable offence: I remember my initial days at kgp, when I went to tech market to buy some thing, Out of my usual habit of bargaining that my friends and I used to indulge in back at our places or u can say at other parts of India, bargaining here doesn't exist. To my surprise,I got such a cold response that I stopped doing this practice [which was so enjoyable :( ) When I left the shop to move steps further in hope that the shopkeeper would call me again as it used to be at other places,the shopkeeper dada never called me up :P

'Dada' : Dada is a common term used to call an elder brother here,initially it seemed quite weird to call a young person say a rickshawallah as dada, because people like me understand that dada only meant grand father to us. Once, I called a young man (a rickshawalla) as dada back in Delhi and he turned back at me making an ugly face and said "didi,aapko hum dada lagte hain?"

Veg/Non Veg 1:100 : Yeah, this is the terrible ratio of vegetarians out here so by default at all the places, the vegetarians are least taken care of. Drumstick-sounds like a weapon of mass destruction is a kind of green vegetable that was served in my hostel every other day only to feel pathetic about it.

Table sense : Not at all,I have seen people eating using both of their hands. I think I can better enact but seriously the view is terrible. In a way, it also gives you a good laugh :P

Wanna Gain weight?? Come here : Blame it to the irresistable mouth watering rasgullas(Rashogullas-as they call it!) that you will get in almost all the meals even in the breakfast. Believe me, its irresistible so much so that when you realise u have gained series of tires in your waist seems its too late to be doing something. The usual scene of a sweet shop is line of men taking home bags full of rasogullas every day. Do in our homes we take sweets in such quantity and frequency? I do not remember my papa ever rought sweets just for the desert purpose. The sweets in our home are there in few cases, when some guests bring it or we bring for the guests.

Bong-The International lingo : wtf! you really gonna have tough time if you are a non-bong. I mean, they wont pay heed u getting anything at all or aint. The height sometimes is that even if you are replying in eng/hindi, they continue in Bengali!!! And you go confused whats going on.

Although I have cited some curt truths that may not look nice, but I must appreciate following:

Eve-teasing : eve-teasing cases in Bengal are less. Seems men here are more cultured and well mannered than other places specially of metropolitans. I experience a drastic change of men's attitude towards women when I used to shift from kgp-to-home or home-to-kgp.

Culturally rich: Historically Bengal has a very rich cultural heritage. Bengal is, indeed, noted for its rich culture in songs, music, drama, dances and language. We all know Rabindra Nath Tagore was the first person from India to bag a Nobel Prize in Litreature for "Geetanjali" ( :) )
Bengal has a rich tradition of classical music of the subcontinent. Indeed, Bengal has produced many musicians and maestros of international repute like Ustad Alauddin Khan, Ustad Ali Akbar Khan and Pandit Ravi Shankar who have successfully made sitar and sarode popular all over the world.

• Life expectancy is around 63 years, and are almost same for the men and women.
• West Bengal leads with 69.22% literacy rate.
• Kolkatta Metro was the first underground railway to be built in India, with the first operations commencing in October, 1984.

P.S though it seems I have depicted a bad picture of this state, but I really dont want to offend anybody and if I hurt anybody's feelings I apologise for it.

I know the bong friends of mine would boil up after reading this, but this is purely my personal opinion and blog ;)